E-Mail Etiquette, With Some Rules to Extinguish Flame-Throwing
By Lawrence J. Magid
For reasons I only partially understand, some people forget their manners when using an on-line service. Folks who wouldn't dream of being rude to others at work or in social settings think nothing of firing off a "flame" ('net-talk for an angry outburst) via electronic mail. Others use public bulletin boards to sling insults at fellow citizens of cyberspace.
It's like what happens to some people when they get behind the wheel of a car the otherwise mild-mannered drivers utter expletives or make obscene hand gestures when something doesn't go their way in traffic.
Bad manners in cyberspace run the gamut from people who are mildly annoying to those guilty of criminal harassment. The former should be ignored or given gentle reminders. From my experience, many shape up once they realize the error of their ways.
Those who deliberately harass can be brought to the attention of whoever operates the service they're using. If what they're doing is bad enough they can be warned, kicked off the system and, in some cases, prosecuted. Check with your service provider to find out its policy.
Here are some guidelines I came up with a few years ago for keeping this new medium civil.
Know your recipient. Different people have different ideas of what is acceptable. Find out and respect each person's wishes.
Avoid sarcasm, unless you're sure it will work, and think very carefully before using e-mail to express anger. With e-mail, once it's sent, it's gone. If you're posting a message in a public forum, remember it can be read by a wide variety of people.
Be careful about your use of irony or even some forms of humor, which can be misinterpreted. Unlike face-to-face meetings or phone conversations, there are no visual or oral clues to provide a sense of what is going on.
Exercise good taste. An e-mail account is not a license to abuse or insult people. Be respectful.
Be succinct and considerate of the recipient's time and on-line charges, especially with services that charge by the hour or by the size of messages. E-mail messages work best if they're short and to the point.
Don't send copies of e-mail to people unless they need to be copied. In addition to cluttering up their mailboxes, it can place them in an awkward position, making them feel as if they have to do something with the information. It also can be intimidating to the main recipient.
Find out first if it's okay to send unsolicited mass-mailings. Personal messages are almost always all right, but many people object to electronic junk mail.
Stay on the topic if you're posting to a public bulletin board, forum or news group. Most are focused on a specific topic, and messages that stray too far from the topic can be annoying.
Briefly describe who you are if the recipient doesn't already know.
Be aware that e-mail can be archived and, under certain circumstances, may not be secure. On-line services and public e-mail providers protect the confidentiality of their subscribers' e-mail, but some companies consider employee e-mail sent over the office network to be company property and subject to scrutiny.
Don't "cry wolf." Avoid "Urgent" or "Priority" unless it really is. Employ capital letters sparingly. Using them for an entire message is perceived by many as SHOUTING, and is harder to read.
Use "receipt requested" sparingly. Some people view it as a sign of distrust. It is okay to use it if you have reason to question whether the person will log on to receive your message.
If you have an e-mail system, you should check your mail regularly. Unlike a fax or U.S. mail, an e-mail message in most cases is not automatically delivered to someone's desk. They have to log on to check their mail. One friend with whom I correspond sometimes lets weeks go by before logging on to read my mail.
